Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Does a Law on Human Attraction Exist?

Opposites attract is a law of attraction, at least where electromagnetism is concerned. But are there laws about attraction between two people? ìIn a world that is full of strangersî as a line in a famous song of the 1980 ís goes, is there a clear set of rules that allows two people to fall for each other?



Is attraction a matter of chemistry?



Maybe. According to scientists, the attraction between animals of the opposite sex is all about chemicals called pheromones. The effect of pheromones in behavior of insects is the most studied to date. It has been observed, at least in some experiments, that pheromones are responsible for communication among same species and colony of ants. The horrible odor released by skunks to ward off enemies is said to be a kind of pheromone. Some species of apes rub pheromone-containing urine on the feet of potential mates to attract them. Some scientists believe that animals (usually the females) such as insects and mammals send out these chemical signals to tell the male of their species that their genes are different from theirs. This gene diversity is important in producing offspring with better chances of survival. The perfume industry has capitalized on pheromones as a means to increase oneís sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. Animals such as the whale and the musk deer were hunted down for these chemicals.



Lately, scientists are looking into the existence of human pheromones and its role in mate selection. There are many conflicting views in the realm of biology, chemistry, genetics, and psychology. Most scientists would assert that these do not exist, or if they do, do not play a role in sexual attraction between a man and a woman. But new researches such as that conducted by Swiss researchers from the University of Bern led by Klaus Wedekind are slowly making these scientists rethink their stand. Their experiment involved women sniffing the cotton shirts of different men during their ovulation period. It was found out that women prefer the smell of menís shirts that were genetically different, but also shared similarities with the womenís genes. This, like in the case of insects and other mammals, was to ensure better and healthier characteristics for their future children. But researchers also cautioned that preference for a male odor is affected by the womenís ovulation period, the food that men eat, perfumes and other scented body products, and the use of contraceptive pills.



Does personality figure in sexual attraction?



Yes, but so does your perception of a potential mateís personality. According to a research conducted by Klohnen, E.C., & S. Luo in 2003 on interpersonal attraction and personality, a personís sense of self-security and at least the personís perception of his/her partner were found to be strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations. What does this tell us? We prefer a certain personality type, which attracts you to a person. But aside from the actual personality of the person, which can only be verified through close interaction through time, it is your perception of your potential partner that attracts you to him/her, whether the person of your affection truly has that kind of personality or not. This could probably account for a statement commonly heard from men and women on their failed relationships: ìI thought he/she was this kind of person.î



So how does attraction figure in relationships?



You have probably heard that attraction is a prelude, or a factor towards a relationship. Most probably, at least in the beginning; but attraction alone cannot make a relationship work. It is that attraction that makes you notice a person from the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. Shared values, dreams, and passions become more significant in long-term relationships.



So should I stop trying to become attractive?



More than trying to become physically attractive, work on all aspects of your health: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical attraction is still a precursor. Remember, biology predisposes us to choose the partner with the healthiest genes. Where your emotions are concerned, just ask this to yourself: would you want to spend time with a person who feels insecure about him/herself? Probably not! There is wisdom in knowing yourself: who you are, your beliefs, values, and dreams. And do not pretend to be someone you are not. Fooling another person by making him/her think that you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause you both disappointments. When you are healthy in all aspects, attractiveness becomes a consequence and not an end. As mentioned in the Klohnen and Luoís research, a personís sense of self-security matters, perhaps even beyond attraction. But remember: do these things for yourself and not for other people. Only then can you truly harness your attractiveness as a person.


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Thursday, March 08, 2007

What Innovation Can Do to Your Life

It's a talent that everyone has, yet they think they don't. The power of innovation. If you've ever marvelled at somebody's creative prowess, guess what, you can create and innovate too. It just takes time. Everyone is born creative. The box of crayons in kindergarten were not limited to those who possessed potential; because the truth is, everybody has potential.



You know how long it took to learn to ride a bike or drive or to never commit the same mistake again? It's the same with innovation. It takes a bit of practice and a lot of time before this mind function comes easily when called. This article will teach you a few tips on how to bring innovation into your life.



Don't listen to what other people say. Follow the beat of your own drum. Allowing for the input of other people will only bring cacophony to the music you are trying to make. If you have an original idea, don't waste your time and effort trying to make people understand. They won't. And the help you will probably get comes in the form of negative feedback. If all those geniuses listened to their peers, we would probably still be living in the middle ages.



Spend time on it. I cannot stress that enough, although, please do not mistake this tip to tell you to quit your day job entirely. Do not. This involves some tricky time management but with a little discipline you'll be able to squeeze both in.



Exercise. Take a walk. Run a mile or two. Send all those endorphins coursing through your veins. Exercising certainly clears and relaxes your mind and allows for anything to pop up.



Record your dreams. Aren't some of them just the craziest things that your conscious mind would never have thought of? If you've had these dreams before, and I'm sure have, this only shows you the untapped innovative power you have lying within. So jot down those notes. Those dreams may just create an innovative spark in you.



Find your own style. You can always tell a Van Gogh from a Matisse. You'll know Hemingway wrote something by the choice of words on the paper. So it is the same with you. People will appreciate your innovation more because it is uniquely yours and that no one else would have thought of what you were thinking. That will let people see how valuable an asset you are.



Don't hide behind nifty gadgets or tools. You don't need the most expensive set of paints to produce a masterpiece. The same way with writing. You don't need some expensive fountain pen and really smooth paper for a bestseller. In fact, J.K. Rowling wrote the first book of the Harry Potter Series on bits of tissue. So what if you've got an expensive SLR camera if you're a crappy photographer? Who cares if you've got a blinging laptop if you can't write at all? The artist actually reduces the number of tools he has as he gets better at his craft: he knows what works and what doesn't.



Nothing will work without passion. What wakes you up in the mornings? What keeps the flame burning? What is the one thing that you'll die if you don't do? Sometimes people with talent are overtaken by the people who want it more. Think the hare and the tortoise. Ellen Degeneres once said that if you're not doing something that you want to do, then you don't really want to do it. And that's true. Sometimes you just want something so bad you become a virtual unstoppable. And that is passion. Passion will keep you going.



Don't worry about inspiration. You can't force it; inspiration hits when you least expect it to, for those unpredictable yet inevitable moments you should prepare. An idea could strike you on the subway, yet alas, you poor unfortunate soul; you have no sheet of paper to scribble down a thought that could change the world. Avoid these disasters. Have a pen and paper within your arm's reach at all times.



I hope this article has helped you bring more innovation into your life. Keep in mind that you're doing these things for your own satisfaction and not anybody else's. But soon enough they will notice, and everything should snowball from there.

Happy as You Want to Be

Almost everyone have heard the hit single 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to everyone. Bobby Mcferiin's simple message surely made a lot of people by telling them not to worry.



Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.



One of the better things ever said is - 'The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change', and in our life we have the power to make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too would change.



Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation and you might just get along with well with



Happiness is actually found in everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also more healthy.



To be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.



There are several ways by which you can do this.



Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.



News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people just can't start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.



A religious connection is also recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations foster inner peace.



Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.



Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -'Laughter is the best medicine'.



Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.



Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.



Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new everyday. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.



Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.



Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.



These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy.



And always remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, he says that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

BUILD YOUR SELF ESTEEM, A STARTER GUIDE TO SELF IMPROVEMENT

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.



Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you wonít even remember. Donít let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?



Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment

Beware of ìdog eat dogî theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.



Dart Pin #2: Other Peopleís Behavior

Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffersÖ all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.



Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment

You canít be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.



Dart Pin #4: Past Experience

Itís okay to cry and say ìouch!î when we experience pain. But donít let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.



Dart Pin #5: Negative World View

Look at what youíre looking at. Donít wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.



Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory

The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesnít mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other peopleís experience, so youíll never have to encounter the same mistakes.



Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldnít come down from heaven and tell you ñ ìGeorge, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.î



In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Lifeís options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ëself changeí. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.



Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

The Road to Intuition

Have you had that experience when all of a sudden you just had this huge hunch that something is about to happen, and to your surprise, that intuition was eventually translated to reality?



When you feel strongly about something without logical basis to it, that's called intuition. It comes in three impressions: clairvoyance or "the third eye", sensing clearly and feeling through listening.



Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere.



Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as "hunch" or "gut feel." This is the time when you are overwhelmed with a feeling and you can't explain it and all you can say is "I just know."



On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to "listen" between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is - be it a car's honk or a bird's twitting - ushers in an intense feeling.



They say only a number of people are gifted with intuition. Astrologers even insist that people born under the Scorpio or Pisces signs are naturally intuitive it almost borders on E.S.P. But studies have been sprouting left and right that proclaim that anyone can develop intuition.



Why the need to develop intuition, you ask? Why not let your emotional and psychological state as it is? First and foremost, intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you; it often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative than ever. Intuition means releasing more creative juices for any means of expression. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate some negative energy buried in it.



With that being said, are you ready to develop your intuition? Here are some ways to unlock this gift:



1. Hypnosis



Oh yes, get yourself hypnotized. Hypnosis is not limited to watching a pendulum move back and forth. Perform self-hypnosis or you can avail of hypnotic programs that can strengthen your intuition.



2. Meditation



Meditating means finding peace in yourself. If your mind and heart are cluttered with too many baggage and hurt, you wouldn't be able to quiet down that part of you that could eventually initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.



3. Think positive!



A worry-free, fear-free state could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.



4. Just let go.



What does this mean? If you are on the brink of making a huge decision, let go of all the inhibitions and head to a quiet place where you could find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn't come out unless you let go.



5. Never expect.



After letting go of the inhibitions and all those things that stop you from thinking and feeling clearly, never expect for an answer right away. Never expect that the "hunch" would fall on your lap immediately. Give it a little time then you'd just get surprised that -- wham! -- now you have your answer.



6. Believe in your first impressions.



When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition.



7. Stay happy!



See? All you need to be intuitive is to stay happy! Happiness attracts immense power and such power includes intuition. In tapping your intuition, your motivation must be happiness and contentment. Given that premise, intuition will fall to you easily.



Intuition is helpful, because sometimes it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. A lot of lives have been saved by intuition alone. Decisions are easier done if armed by this gift. Develop intuition now and reap benefits you have never imagined.

Why Coaching is the Way to Go in Team Management

When you hear the word ìcoachî, what comes first into your mind? Do you picture a basketball team with a man/woman shouting out directions? Or perhaps a football team with a man/woman pacing to and fro and calling out the names of the players?



Coaching is no longer reserved to sports teams; it is now one of the key concepts in leadership and management. Why is coaching popular?



Coaching levels the playing field.



Coaching is one of the six emotional leadership styles proposed by Daniel Goleman. Moreover, it is a behavior or role that leaders enforce in the context of situational leadership. As a leadership style, coaching is used when the members of a group or team are competent and motivated, but do not have an idea of the long-term goals of an organization. This involves two levels of coaching: team and individual. Team coaching makes members work together. In a group of individuals, not everyone may have nor share the same level of competence and commitment to a goal. A group may be a mix of highly competent and moderately competent members with varying levels of commitment. These differences can cause friction among the members. The coaching leader helps the members level their expectations. Also, the coaching leader manages differing perspectives so that the common goal succeeds over personal goals and interests. In a big organization, leaders need to align the staffsí personal values and goals with that of the organization so that long-term directions can be pursued.



Coaching builds up confidence and competence.



Individual coaching is an example of situational leadership at work. It aims to mentor one-on-one building up the confidence of members by affirming good performance during regular feedbacks; and increase competence by helping the member assess his/her strengths and weaknesses towards career planning and professional development. Depending on the individualís level of competence and commitment, a leader may exercise more coaching behavior for the less-experienced members. Usually, this happens in the case of new staffs. The direct supervisor gives more defined tasks and holds regular feedbacks for the new staff, and gradually lessens the amount of coaching, directing, and supporting roles to favor delegating as competence and confidence increase.



Coaching promotes individual and team excellence.



Excellence is a product of habitual good practice. The regularity of meetings and constructive feedback is important in establishing habits. Members catch the habit of constantly assessing themselves for their strengths and areas for improvement that they themselves perceive what knowledge, skills, and attitudes they need to acquire to attain team goals. In the process, they attain individually excellence as well. An example is in the case of a musical orchestra: each member plays a different instrument. In order to achieve harmony of music from the different instrument, members will polish their part in the piece, aside from practicing as an ensemble. Consequently, they improve individually as an instrument player.



Coaching develops high commitment to common goals.



A coaching leader balances the attainment of immediate targets with long-term goals towards the vision of an organization. As mentioned earlier, with the alignment of personal goals with organizational or team goals, personal interests are kept in check. By constantly communicating the vision through formal and informal conversations, the members are inspired and motivated. Setting short-term team goals aligned with organizational goals; and making an action plan to attain these goals can help sustain the increased motivation and commitment to common goals of the members.



Coaching produces valuable leaders.



Leadership by example is important in coaching. A coaching leader loses credibility when he/she cannot practice what he/she preaches. This means that a coaching leader should be well organized, highly competent is his/her field, communicates openly and encourages feedback, and has a clear idea of the organizationís vision-mission-goals. By vicarious and purposive learning, members catch the same good practices and attitudes from the coaching leader, turning them into coaching leaders themselves. If a member experiences good coaching, he/she is most likely to do the same things when entrusted with formal leadership roles.



Some words of caution though: coaching is just one of the styles of leadership. It can be done in combination with the other five emotional leadership styles depending on the profile of the emerging team. Moreover, coaching as a leadership style requires that you are physically, emotionally, and mentally fit most of the time since it involves two levels of coaching: individual and team. Your members expect you to be the last one to give up or bail out in any situation especially during times of crises. A coaching leader must be conscious that coaching entails investing time on each individual, and on the whole team. Moreover, that the responsibilities are greater since while you are coaching members, you are also developing future coaches as well.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Don't Fear Your Home Business Competition


by Jim Kelly

You have taken a great deal of time and put forth effort seeking out a home business opportunity that matches your individual desires, skills and goals. You have registered with a legitimate and supportive program and you have taken the time to create a detailed written business plan for yourself. You have researched promotional methods and strategies and perhaps you have even begun to create your own web site. You feel primed to move forward with the initial steps you have so carefully structured.

One potentially serious pitfall needs to be avoided at all costs. Some new home business entrepreneurs develop a mindset that they “want it all” and perceive all others promoting the same or similar products, services, and opportunities as the “enemy”, and they begin to develop a fiercely protective attitude towards their new business. Fear of your competition will not steer you toward your goal of independence; rather it will propel you towards isolation.

I would invite you to take a daring step outside of yourself and reach out directly to those you might perceive as “the competition”. In doing so you are highly likely to encounter numerous friendly, helpful entrepreneurs just like yourself, some of whom have made quite a success of themselves with their home business.

There are many sources for seeking out and interacting with similar minded entrepreneurs. The program you have enrolled in no doubt has numerous forums and if not, do a web search for home business forums and make a habit of visiting them and begin to make yourself known. Post your questions, concerns, and ideas in the forums. You will absolutely receive responses from other enthusiastic home business owners. Get to know them individually and exchange email addresses. Strike up friendships and share your goals, methods, and hopes. If you have a web site, swap links.

There is no reason to protect yourself from or avoid others in your field. Those who develop their business with a stance of protectionism and isolationism are likely to remain in isolation and indeed may fail as a direct result. A network of friends and mentors within your field is a tool that you will come to find invaluable as your network will aid you in sharpening your goals, direction, and strategies. The Internet is a vast place and there is ample business for all who are dedicated and apply a well-laid out strategy. Seek out and befriend those in your field. Don’t make the mistake of shunning them. You won’t be sorry!


Jim Kelly resides in Los Angeles, California and is webmaster of Make Extra Money At Home
http://make-extra-money-at-home.com Create the exciting world that only exists in your imagination now. Make extra money at home and realize your dreams.
jkpb7@hotmail.com

Monday, March 05, 2007

"Who's the Boss?"

10 ways to start taking control (time management, goal setting, record tracking)



At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many of us with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and move forward.



Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:



1. Take Good Care of Yourself

It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.



2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For

Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.



3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions

A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.



4. Refrain from Using Absolutes

Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.



5. Detach From Negative Thoughts

Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.



6. Squash the "ANTs"

In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!



7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family)

You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!



8. Increase Your Social Activity

By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!



9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person

Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.



10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination

If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.



When it comes to the corporate world, protocol is pretty much the religion. To know the things needed to do are the basics of productivity, but interaction and having a steady mind makes up the entire thing to true productivity. There are those who seem to work well even under pressure, but they're uncommon ones and we are human and imperfect. To get these little things like stress under our skins won't solve our problems. Sometimes it takes a bit of courage to admit that we're turning to be workaholics than tell ourselves that we're not doing our best.


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"What Really Makes You Tick?"

10 questions you should ask to yourself: a preparation to self-improvement



Be all you can be, but it's not always in the Army. I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it's hard to think of anything else when where are real issues to be discussed.



Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful.



So we're all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn't even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricksÖ or can they?



1. What do I really want?

The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.



Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.



2. Should I really change?

Today's generation has taken another level of redefining 'self', or at least that's what the kids are saying. Having an army of teenage nieces and nephews has taught me that there are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe even promiscuity. So how does that fit into your lifestyle?



If history has taught us one thing, it's the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn't appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.



3. What's the bright side in all of this?

With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it's a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!



4. Am I comfortable with what I'm doing?

There's always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn't take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we'll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.



5. Have I done enough for myself?

Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you'll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.



6. Am I happy at where I am today?

It's an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!



7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?

So maybe I don't have an answer to that, but that doesn't mean I can't try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.



8. How much could I have?

I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it's more on how badly you really need it. I'd like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?



9. What motivates me?

What motivates you? It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It's not like you can't have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that's it. Just try it piece by piece.



10. What Really Makes You Tick?

So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it's something that you really want.

"Life With Woody" 10 inspirational quotes than can improve yourself

It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day's work. Well, yeah I'm guilty about that one as well, unless I'm caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few rounds of vodkaÖ half-naked! Okay, bad example and I apologize to everyone reading this after getting nightmares about me in that state of drunken stupor.



Just don't ask how it happened, please.



But what's really interesting is that how do people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this 'mind-over-matter' thing.



Humor is indeed the best medicine there is whenever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants after laughing so hard. Despite of what's been happening, and to those who has gone though the ordeal, it's better to just laugh while facing the troubles with a clear mind than anger with a clouded vision. One of my favorite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with a man, and he's bound to mock the subject and you'll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.



Woody Allen has this to say:



1. "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn't have to take an arm and a leg to get it.



2. "I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government." 'Nuff said.



3. "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life's little problems isn't all that bad, until 'he' shows up.



Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you're talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.



4. "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." And if you want more, just keep on asking!



5. "A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." It sounds, 'practical', I think.



And when it comes to everyday life, he really knows how to make the best out of every possible scenario, and it doesn't involve a lawsuit if he strikes a nerve.



6. "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." I never had a boat in my bathtub before. Just staring at it while soaking in hot water makes me seasick already.



7. "I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." If it rains, it pours.



8. "I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." It could get worse when you're guzzling on beerÖ or mouthwash, and it happened to me once!



9. "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." At least he doesn't smite us with lightning, and I'm thankful for that.



And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can't seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we're religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.



And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by however, whenever, and wherever we may be.



10. "The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."

Saturday, March 03, 2007

15 Ways To Keep Your Speaking Inspiring And Creative

Catherine Franz

When stressed or blocked, it is wise to make a change so that
we don’t stay in that place. Yet, many times we forget some
of the simple things that we can do for ourselves, quickly
and easily to bring our inspiration back and increase our
creativity.

1. If you usually type your speech first, hand write them.
Nothing compares to seeing the ink mesh into the paper and
display what you have created.

2. If you spend too much time at the computer, take a break
every hour. Go for a walk or just sit outside in the sun.
Even five minutes in a winter sun does wonders for the mood
and for your creativity.

3. Flip through magazines or books. Their colors and ideas
will give you sparks and switch your attitude. Blue and
green can reduce your stress levels by 30% or more.

4. Add strong smells to the room. Light scented candles
around you, visit the fruit isle at the grocery store, or go
to a store that is heavily scented. Find an orange or
strawberries and smell it. Both will change a mood or
create inspiration. Smells awaken your creativity. Smells
trigger memories and are great methods to rekindle stories
from the past.

5. Go see or rent an inspirational movie. Relaxation time
is important. Watch the movie with a notebook and record
inspiring phases or ideas that pop in.

6. Read a book on the topic that stirs and sparks your
creativity. Poetry can do the same.

7. Look at bold and bright colors for a few minutes. These can
change your mood.

8. Talk with a friend about your topic to flesh out ideas,
titles, and content. Tape-record the conversation so you
don’t miss anything. You would be surprised at how much we
think we hear and how we actually do.

9. Write an email to a friend to tell him or her what you
want to accomplish. If you are stuck, say so and ask for
help.

10. Check in with your vibrational energy and do something
to switch it into high gear. Take a shower. Go for a walk
or dance naked in the moonlight.

11. Hire someone to transcribe your recording so that you
can stay focused on the creative end of the speaking.

12. Authentic, flat-out, raw laughter frees the psyche and
opens the creativity process.

13. Find a setting with lots of trees and flowers and feel
nature. If the weather permits, take off your shoes and
socks and feel the grass between your toes. Nature has a
way of freeing our spirit to let out the flow of our best
material.

14. If you are used to practicing your speech in a quiet
place, create noise and practice. You will learn to speak
with distractions.

15. Go for a quiet leisurely drive and practice your vowels,
outlook expand your voice range.

That was exciting, wasn’t it? Post this list in a
conspicuous place so that it is readily available when
needed. Do one or two of these daily to keep your thought
process clear and attracting. Your audience is waiting.

(c) Copyright 2005, Catherine Franz. All rights reserved.


Catherine Franz, a Professional Marketing &
Writing Coach, specializes in product development, Internet
writing and marketing, nonfiction, training. Newsletters and
articles available at: http://www.abundancecenter.com
blog: http://abundance.blogs.com

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Conquer the Five Most Common Fears about Your Wedding Ceremony


Chris Simeral

It’s safe to say that of all the important events in your lifetime, your wedding day is certain to be right up there with those that are the most meaningful. And throughout the entire wedding day – the preparations, the ceremony, the reception, and the wedding night – the moment when you recite your wedding vows to each other is the most meaningful. It is a time that you will remember forever, exactly as it felt: a sublime, dreamlike fantastical moment, when everyone significant to you is watching as you join in wedlock with the most important individual in your life.

Conquering Your Fears

Since this is such a unique and central moment to your romantic life, you’re probably wondering how it is that you’ll make the experience better than that 10th grade public-speaking assignment where you blanked out halfway through and fainted in front of all of your peers. Begin by telling yourself that it is perfectly natural to feel nervous when speaking in public. Moreover, not everyone is born with perfect public-speaking skills that accurately demonstrate what they feel in their hearts. However, fortunately for the majority of us, these things can be learned.

Of course, being well-prepared and armed with wedding vows you know are the absolute best they could possibly be is one of the easiest ways to overcome these fears. How do I know? Because the home-study course I put together, The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit, has helped hundreds of couples take the fear out of their wedding ceremony by giving them the tools they need to write truly amazing wedding vows. You can find out more about the kit at http://www.weddingvowtoolkit.com.

But beyond that, when you think logically about each of these fears, you’ll realize there is nothing that cannot be overcome with a bit of care, technique, and practice. Let’s take a realistic look at these five incredibly common worries. In a few minutes, you’ll see that none of them are likely to spoil your ceremony.

Common Fear #1: Freezing Up

This is a direct result of being excessively nervous. Therefore, it’s important to come up with some calming techniques that will help you to keep cool. It’s only natural to be a bit nervous. In fact, the added rush from being a little on the anxious side can actually help you to speak better and with added feeling. The best technique that you can give yourself is breathing. Most often, when we are overly frightened, we either breathe much too quickly or we hold our breath. Therefore, as you’re keeping yourself calm, concentrate on breathing smoothly, neither too fast or too slow, but regularly, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Practice a few times in advance, especially in other situations that you’ve found a bit stressful in the past. You’ll be surprised at what an enormous difference something as simple as breathing can do for you.

Common Fear #2: Going Blank

This is another trick played by your overly-nervous brain. To stop yourself from becoming so nervous that you go blank, or even to remove any fear that you may go blank, bring a “backup” copy of your wedding vows on cue cards that you can slip into your pocket. Make sure they are very crisp and neat looking so that you won’t hesitate to use them if you have to, and write clearly on them so that you won’t get stuck due to sloppiness.

Common Fear #3: Blushing, Dry Mouth, and Shaking.

These are extremely common physical responses to being nervous and having to perform in front of others. However, even if they do begin to occur, you can bring yourself to a calmer state where these physical symptoms will begin to fade. Try to ignore blushing and shaking as much as possible and just concentrate on your vows and how much you love the person to whom you are making those vows. With regards to dry mouth, drink lots of water beforehand, and try not to think about it. As long as you concentrate on what you’re doing, instead of the fact that you are blushing, shaking, or have a dry mouth, they will actually begin to resolve themselves quite quickly.

Common Fear #4: Having Someone Heckle

This is a common fear, but it simply doesn’t happen at weddings. Remind yourself that everyone there with you is hoping the very best for you and your future spouse. They are all nervous right along with you and wouldn’t dream of saying anything but best wishes for your future together. The closest they will come to “heckling” is sending a mental prayer to provide you the strength and the courage to continue so that you may enjoy long and happy lives together.

Common Fear #5: Being Judged

The people attending your wedding are all people who know you, like or love you, and who wish you the very best. They know how much adrenaline is running through your system as you say your wedding vows, and wouldn’t judge you at a time like that; except to think about how well suited you are to the love of your life.


Chris Simeral’s Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit has helped hundreds of people across the U.S., Canada, and Great Britain compose completely personalized and ultra-romantic wedding vows. Find out more at http://www.WeddingVowToolkit.com.

chris@weddingvowtoolkit.com

Make Fear a Nine Day Wonder - Motivate Yourself with Fun


Cliff Kuhn, M.D.

Have you heard something referred to as a "nine day wonder"? The phrase refers to something that causes a sensation for a brief period of time and then fades into obscurity. The origin of this phrase is usually tied to the nine-day reign of Lady Jane Grey (1537-1554) as Queen of England. This reluctant queen met an untimely fate. More on that later...

I added a new Fun Commandment recently to address a very pesky and persistent nine day wonder we all face - fear as a motivator. Fear is a great motivator...for a brief period. Then it does worse than fade into obscurity; fear adds to our load of stress and pressure. So I'm calling for an end to this nine day wonder's reign with my Fun Commandment, Motivate Yourself with Fun Rather than Fear.

Motivating yourself with fun rather than fear pays big dividends in myriad ways. Making this choice accelerates your ability to communicate, rests your brain, lowers your stress, increases your tolerance for pain, among other things. In this article, however, I am focusing on one incredibly important and impactful side effect of this Commandment - using fun to motivate yourself increases your creativity.

Creativity is an ability highly sought by businesses and employees alike. Creativity is trumpeted in every mission statement and praised by every CEO for good reason - we know that creativity brings breakthroughs! Since the ability to create breakthroughs is both a highly sought after and also a highly marketable skill, creativity gets a lot of deserved attention.

Yet there are still many myths to dispel about creativity. One of the biggest myths is that creativity is fueled by time pressure. Time pressure is an example of fear-based motivation because it involves trying to escape a negative consequence rather than moving toward a positive outcome. Deadlines are a reality, but using fear to fuel our creative juices has the opposite effect.

The alternative is to use fun as our motivator. Theresa Amabile, head of the Entrepreneurial Management Unit at Harvard Business School, has been studying creativity for 30 years. For the past 8 years she has collected nearly 12,000 daily journal entries from 238 people working on creative projects in seven large corporations. She and her team scoured journals for moments when people struggled with a problem or came up with a new idea. The following rules for using fun to motivate creativity are inspired directly from Amabile's research.

  1. Deadlines are fear-based; if you want to be creative you must give yourself an "incubation period." Deadlines create distractions that rob your attention, the research indicates. Even with a deadline looming, to get creative you should focus on your work in an environment protected from distractions.
  2. Competition is fear-based; collaboration is fun-based. If you want to amplify your creativity, the research tells you to foster the confidence to share your ideas with others. Be open to debate with collaborators and create a noncompetitive environment. You'll hit new heights of creativity!
  3. Catching people doing things right, rather than punishing them for doing things wrong, is fun-based. Public celebrations, according to the research, of accomplishments are a boon for creativity. If you want to spark creativity, publicly recognize someone's work or contributions!
  4. Sparking intrinsic motivation is what fun accomplishes when you use it as a motivator. Intrinsic motivation, the research proves, is critical to creativity. Anyone, it turns out, can be highly creative - when they become intrinsically motivated! Motivating yourself with fun clears away barriers and allows your experience, knowledge, and skills to foster new, creative ways of thinking.
  5. You are more likely to have a creative breakthrough if you were happy the day before. When you're happy, which usually happens as a byproduct of fun-based motivation, the research clearly indicates a great chance of your happiness "incubating" overnight to show up as a creative idea the following day.

How about that? I couldn't have asked for more compelling evidence that fun is a better personal and professional motivator than fear. Amabile's 8-year study clearly shows that today's happiness predicts tomorrow's creativity! So start getting happy today by motivating yourself with fun and then re-create your world tomorrow!

By the way, Lady Jane Grey was reluctant to take the throne of England because she was only 15 years old and she held unpopular Protestant beliefs. Her reluctance was well-founded; the young Queen relinquished the crown after just 9 days, plead guilty to treason, and was eventually beheaded.

Let's give fear, as our motivator, the same fate. Fear becomes a nine day wonder when we replace it with fun today!


How to turbo-charge your health, success, and vitality! Clifford Kuhn, M.D., America's Laugh Doctor, teaches people and organizations to be more healthy and successful through the use of fun and humor. A psychiatrist, and the former associate chairperson of the University of Louisville's renowned Department of Psychiatry, Dr. Kuhn now dispenses his unique Fun Factor prescription from http://www.natural-humor-medicine.com/AC2. On his website you will find tons of fun, free ways for you to maximize your sense of humor, and enjoy a life others will envy and admire.

Cliff@natural-humor-medicine.com